Having a Soft Spot for helping Sexual Assault Victims
With all the new WOKE movements, my position is that some of these movements should be part of everyday morals and diverse perspectives one practices both personally and professionally without tagging a name to it. I come from a background dealing with all kinds of people from all walks of life. Diversity in all forms is one of the greatest assets we have as a society because diversity enriches our perspective when we all come together as one.
In law school, and through my practice, I have researched the effect stigma has in the social pecking order. I have also researched how a stigma can create negative associations that are unwarranted based on normative values.
The challenge as a lawyer is that I have to assess the legal strength of the claims of a prospective client presents to me where these movements may not have a remedy—although some do. Black Lives Matter is something that should be enforced by constitutional rights we have in place. The Constitution knows no color. Discrimination against others against one’s race, ethnicity, creed, religion, disability, sexuality, culture, and so forth is wrong. Everyone should be treated with dignity. Having a hearing disability and knowing others with disabilities, the universal stigma against those with disabilities exists across multiple cultures, societies, religions, and so forth. In some areas and societies, the stigma is becoming less and less. In others, the stigma remains status quo. I have compassion for others who have been discriminated against by ignorant prejudices.
The social movement that I completely and fully support is the Me Too movement. For any sexual assault victim, whether child molestation or rape victims, our society places a strong stigma against the violation of the human body. Victims of sexual assault experience what happened to them is taboo. The emotional aspect of these crimes wreaks havoc on a person’s sense of self-worth and dignity. The coping mechanisms deal with the loss of control of one’s personal space and the body as a sacred temple. Sexual assault attacks one’s personal dignity in the most intimate way.
We as a society do not talk about sexual assault like we need to in today’s time. That is wrong.
Sexual assault has existed for thousands of years. Today, sexual assault happens on a regular basis. But, because of the social stigma against speaking about sexual assault, these sexual assault victims often do not come forward or seek help—they stay isolated. Shame is one of the biggest emotional aspects because of the loss of control over one’s body. Some experiences are extremely violent and traumatic. Some emotions relate to a loss of self-confidence. Some experience others being entirely unsympathetic about that victim’s experience blaming the victim for placing himself or herself in that situation. Obviously, such a person to me indicates that they truly do not understand what it is to be violated in one of the worst ways.
Some life experiences are worse than death. Sexual assault is one of those experiences.
For those of you out there, I can tell you that the pain does get better over time. The self-respect and confidence will come. All you need to understand is that bad things happen to good people. Stop the blame. Could’ve, would’ve, should’ve is crying over spilled milk. You will be like a caterpillar transforming into a butterfly. Because, once a victim, you will become a survivor. With the right perspective, you will become strong. While you may be hurting, hold onto that day when you will rise your head and say that you are deserving of every right to be a sacred temple no matter what.
We need to come together and change the stigma against us as sexual assault victims and be more open as a society about these incidents happening far more than our society realizes.
I have an incredibly soft spot for sexual assault victims. When I have clients who are sexual assault victims, and legal recourse is potentially available, I am passionate. And, I get angry about what happened to my client. I am not an attorney posturing to make money. I am a force to be reckoned with. I am aggressive.
For sexual assault victims out there, most of you are too ashamed to report the incident to the police. The emotional trauma is too raw. But, often, the regret comes later—even years later—when you don’t. Because, the attacker may do the same to someone else. Someone else may go through what you did.
I also recommend that you talk with a personal injury attorney. I am not saying call me as if to solicit your business. I am saying that you need to talk with any personal injury attorney to see if some recourse is possible. Many of my colleagues in the South Carolina Bar practice in personal injury. Call the South Carolina Bar Association for potential referrals to personal injury attorneys. In some incidents, precautions should have been taken to prevent the situation of what happened to you—you may be vital to creating a call to action for certain compliance measures to be put into place.
I recommend that you seek counseling from one who is specialized in Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. You need to get a rape kit test whiting 24-48 hours after the incident, the sooner the better. It doesn’t matter if you never report the perpetrator. I would file a police report even though you may not wish to prosecute the crime because the emotional trauma is too great. Sometimes, under the right circumstances, you can take action without litigation from the civil side. No amount of money or justice will ever truly make you whole. The legal system falls short of that.
However, I have a something very important to say.
For those of you who cry wolf on being sexually assaulted, and you were never actually sexually assaulted, shame on you. Because of people like you, those of us who are actually sexual assault victims have a hard enough time bringing the perpetrators to justice without you muddying the waters for us to see justice prevail. May you fear God’s wrath. No matter what happens in the legal system, you will answer to a higher power.
Just as I would never wish anyone to become a sexual assault victim, I would never wish upon anyone to be wrongfully accused of committing a sexual assault crime. To me, such a false accusation against an innocent person is just as wrong as those who actually committed a sexual assault crime or those who cried wolf when they were never sexually assaulted. For the falsely accused, may God save you.
For those of you out there who have committed sexual assault crime(s), shame on you. I do not have the words to express how reprehensible your conduct is. May you repent. It is you who have no dignity. May you fear God’s wrath. No matter what happens in the legal system, or if you are never held accountable, you will answer to a higher power.
Some local resources are available for sexual assault victims:
You can get past this sexual abuse. You can make this pain turn you into someone stronger. This experience will not break you. You will become strong. You will find your voice. You will no longer be a victim. You will be a survivor. No matter what happened, you will find dignity in who you are. This too shall pass. You will never forget, but you will not let what happened to you define you. Like a caterpillar to a butterfly, you will become. Become a survivor. Take your newfound strength and pass it forward to others like us.
Most importantly, for those of you out there who have experienced sexual abuse, you are not alone. If this has happened to you, then my heart goes out to you. If you ever want to talk to someone outside of these sources, I am available after-hours—not as an attorney, but someone to tell you that you are not alone.
Yours,
Deborah D. Davis, Esq.